A Story

Everybody has a story.
Not everyone will be interested in that story, but that doesn't mean it isn't interesting. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, (along with a nightly hot bath!). The paper and pen cannot refuse my words, they can't reject the thoughts I impose on them. Nor will they judge for content, or grade for accuracy. It is safe. There are so many times when it is necessary to be safe while being "real", and recording the "real" on paper validates the experiences. We were created to be relational beings, who desire to be known, and valued, and thereby, validated. So, I extend the invitation to "Life Lines", with the sincerest hope you'll share a sense of camaraderie, be entertained,and best of all, be inspired because...everybody has a story! <3

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Push-ups

Push-ups. 

Not a drill sergeants drop down and give me twenty type. Not the secret undergarment of Victoria type. I'm thinking of the orange sherbet coated vanilla ice cream in a tube type. Remember those? 

Push-ups! 

A frozen dairy and sugar combo, irresistible on a Summer afternoon when heat visibly hovers in undulating mirages over blacktopped surfaces, and youngsters drip with the sweat-caked dust from a parched makeshift baseball field. 

Push-ups were not only scrumptious, their delivery system was so unique that even if they did not taste good, the ice cream man would still offer them because kids would still want to buy them. They were food and they were fun, fun food. 

Push-ups have gone the way of many childhood things, along with childhood itself. They were small, but we were small, so that was okay. 

They were melt-y. On the hottest afternoons only seconds passed before rivulets of orange began to drip from the bottom of softening cardboard tubes onto sticky palms, trailing to wrists, intertwining with and even re-directed by sweaty dirt residue all the way to the elbows of us. Some could be licked clean; orange, vanilla, salty sweat and dirt, all in one who cares if the dirty sugary mess is a little less than delicious lick. For a bit, the dried but still sticky sugary residue glistened on skin. 
 Precious time could not be taken to run in the house for a washing, into the house where Mom may sidetrack with a chore, or lunch, or some other play-time bandit. A garden hose sufficed. We could wash with the sun warmed water in the length of hose strung through the grass and by the time the warm water was used up and the hose started running cold water, we could follow up with a long refreshing drink.
 
Sun-up to sun-down the world was ours. We didn't know it then but thinking about it now, I am inclined to believe there never in history was a sweeter time. Our lives were relatively easy, safe. We lived more comfortable and secure than ever before or since. Our worries were few.

There was for us a nice home, a soft bed. We had plenty of clean clothes suited to any climate conditions. We were not fat, we were well exercised and our mothers cooked every day, no, literally no fast food. Endless hours every day were spent deeply breathing in fresh outdoor air. We were not restricted to eye and ear shot of parents for fear of child predators. We did not wash our hands before we ate our ice cream on sticks and we did lick our fingers, and stuff. We drank out of the hose.

From Memorial Day to Labor Day we were free. Free to roam, dream, imagine, plan, stretch and linger, interrupted only by family vacations, Summer camp and the fourth of July. 

Each fourth of July welcomes gatherings with family, friends and crowds of cheerful strangers to celebrate this wonderful gift of freedom. I remember previous fourth of July's, or at least some aspects of the seasons past, and I am so profoundly grateful.

Things change, it is expected.









 I did not have old enough eyes to see days like today, back in my days of push-ups. These days were a mystery, a far far into the future mystery. But I can see those push-up days from here, and have seen enough since those days to know that they were indeed unusual. They were a gift to be treasured, protected and preserved. 

These days are a treasure all their own. We will look back on them with old enough eyes, to see their once mysteries revealed. 

Things change, it is expected. 

Perhaps in looking back we will not recognize who we have become as a nation. Far from where we began when the push first started. We have pushed up to strength and status, we have pushed on through threats and injuries and we have pushed out of our borders and boundaries. We have been afforded the freedom and independence to push. 

There is such a thing as pushing too hard, too far, for too long; where freedom and independence go the way of childhood.

Treasure freedom this Independence Day. 

It is certain to change.

P.J.


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Baby's First Birthday





            He smells like baby. They actually figured out a way to bottle that! He has learned how to open the round cardboard container of cheesy baby snacks by prying the plastic lid off with his bottom teeth like a bottle opener. Then he smells like cheese, little melt-away cheesy snacks made for few toothed chubby fingered babies.

            He slaps open palmed on the Kiddie Keys piano just his size. I show him how pressing a key with just one finger works too. He tries it, ponders that method, and goes back to his open palmed composition.
         
           He hands me a ball, I take it, he hands me another, I take it, and we do this until he has handed me all seven of the balls that the blue hippo carries on his back. I return them to him; one by one he refills the blue hippo. One ball misses and rolls off to the side with an uh-oh from me, and another in a different direction, uh-oh again. He watches me, interested in what will accompany my uh-oh. 
 
            He’s been here at Grandma’s house for two and a half hours and so far in this small window of time we have played piano, passed balls, eaten baby cheese snacks, baby fruit cookies, cereal, and juice. We have had a thirty minute walk outside listening to birds, watching butterflies, and chatting with Alexis and her dog Gizmo.  We admired flowers close-up and squished them, but only a little. We pulled leaves to carry along with us for a bit, and touched bare leafless stems, equally fascinating.

            He made faces, such funny I think I’ll try to cry but I really don’t need to faces, that I laughed out loud! His five and half toothed wide open mouth, and tightly scrunched eyes distorted his little face in the perfect pose to express serious unhappiness, but he knew he wasn’t actually unhappy and could not muster authenticity. He let out an “ahhh” that was unconvincing to us both. He liked that I laughed so he did it a half a dozen more times as the drama of the game intensified, with a grin between each go that he wouldn’t quite give permission to, but his eyes gave him away. This Grandma’s been around that block! He amused himself and found increased satisfaction that he could tickle Grandma’s funny bone too. 

            I wished I had my camera but I knew if I left the room to get it the moment would end. I didn’t want the moment to end. I had to accept that I, only I, would get to absorb the moment, just this once. It would not be forever captured in a picture. Very much like all of these 364 days since his delivery, it was a moment, that was all. Similar ones may occur but none exactly repeat. Even the magic of the camera cannot replay the moment. A photo is still and silent, an offering to the eyes of an image to spark the brain and jump-start the heart. Having been present, I could with a picture almost relive the moment, almost.
           
             He fusses with a dry empty diaper and a contented full tummy, so we walk. He rests his head down against my shoulder, I sing softly. When I stop he picks his head up and hums a few
notes of his own letting me know he prefers I continue. I sing Rock-a-bye Baby, Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, the B-I-B-L-E, This Little Light of Mine, and when I have just about depleted my children’s song list I resort to On Top of Old Smokey. He is heavy with slumber as the meat ball rolls out the door. A few bars more and I grin inside and out to think that my soft singing about a rolling meatball takes him that last step over the edge into baby dreamland.

            I lay him down on the couch, tuck him in with my zebra snuggie and go for the camera. There is something so perfectly pure and unblemished about a sleeping baby. I gaze with grandma eyes, click, smile, click click, smile. I click more than seventy photos of that sleeping beauty.

            My chair and I are six feet away from him asleep on the couch and I smell him still, he has rubbed off on me. His Mommy puts baby cologne on him, as if his already perfect little self really needed anything to be cuter, but I do like it. 

             Tomorrow he turns one year old. Tomorrow will be much like today for him and his parents. The days after that will be much like the days previous. Mornings will come, days will be mostly routine, night will wrap another one up, and the next one will come and repeat. New things will be added while some of the old things are dropped, having been edged out by the new. One by one the days will peel away exposing new skin, new shape, new size, new skills, new thoughts, and the baby will be left behind. The toddler will become. He will toddle to school and round the bases of childhood all the way to the home plate of adulthood, one day at a time, one moment at a time. And then just like that, the growing up game will have completed.
           
            So on this one day, for these few brief moments sweet baby boy, grandson of mine, when you awaken from your nap here on Grandma’s couch, I will relish your little scrunched up funny faces with furrowed brow and your chubby cheesy little pointing finger. I will breathe your baby-cologne’d self in and when that aroma mingles with cheesy melt-away baby snacks I will breathe you in still, until Mommy comes and takes you away. Then I will pray. I will pray that she and Daddy breathe you in. Breathe deeply in every furrowed brow, every hamming it up scrunched face, every pudgy dimpled pointing finger, every five and a half toothed gummy smile, as one by one, the birthdays add up, just like birthdays always do, and take you sweet baby, away.
 
            You have been cherished as a something-day-old and so-many-month-old baby. You will be cherished as a one year old. It’s your Birthday, but it is we who have been given the gift. Happy first Birthday sweetest gift ever, may we each strive to be worthy of such a treasure as you.

January in Virginia

January in Virginia