Double Nickels

Fifty five years ago, I entered my family's world with a spanking and a cry. Since then, life has continued along pretty much the same way. Thrills, spankings and cry's.

Intermingled amongst the innumerable joys of precious, unforgettable life shaping moments, has been the spankings, equally life shaping. They sometimes came clearly as the consequence of choices, but more often the lashings have merely been the result of being alive, an imperfect person in an imperfect world.

I have cried. When I didn't get my way, when something hurt, when I was sad, I cried. Sometimes the cry was more of a scream of frustration or a fist shaking yell, to no one listening, and better for it to have been that way.

In the beginning I didn't know anything about anything, but I learned some stuff.
In the early middle I didn't know what I thought I knew, but I learned some stuff.
In the middle middle I didn't know very much about very much, but I learned some stuff.
In the later middle, where I think I am now, I don't know a lot about a lot, but I know a lot about some stuff, and look forward to learning a lot more about a lot more stuff.

Those things that I was working toward early on, don't look the same in the rear view as they did looking forward from that point where I started. What I thought life might look like when I got to be age fifty five, has proven to be only slightly as it in fact is.

The spankings that I thought I would not live through, temporarily confused my forward motion, but permanently, positively altered my direction, pointing my feet toward today.

The best thing I have learned on this brisk trip through life up until now, is how to stop.

Stop fussing about somebody else's failures, I am not responsible for them. I only hurt myself twice when I do that, once when the infraction occurs, and a second time when I mull it over and allow it to continue to steal again, my joy and peace.

Stop letting circumstances dictate to me what I can and cannot do. I can take steps to change the circumstances that bind me.

Stop sabotaging my happiness and success with preconceived notions. When things don't work the way I hoped, or even the way I carefully planned, so what, I love lemonade!

These "stops" are good, and I am thankful for the lessons that spankings and crying have taught. But the very, very, very best stop that I have learned, the one that makes the most room for the thrills, is to literally, stop to enjoy life!

I have a vase of flowers on the piano that I stop to smell.
I make a point to stop what I am doing at work, to have a gaze at the ocean.
I stop thinking my own thoughts to be able to listen to someone else's in a conversation.
I stop to get my camera for a picture of anything that catches my eye.

I take pictures of the sun through the kitchen window creating a tiny reflection of light on an apple, or pictures of an insect close up. With a picture on the big screen of my computer I see detail that I did not know existed, appreciating intricacies that I would not otherwise even know should be appreciated. I do not like bugs, in fact quite the opposite, but seeing them up close and large I am fascinated with the God of the universe who cared to put those details on something of such little significance to me, something that I would normally pay no attention to, except possibly to get away from, quickly!

I am not usually wrapped up in something so important that I cannot stop to take a few minutes or even just a few seconds, to enjoy the simple things that are right there, easily and readily available for enjoyment.

I am going to stop right now to get ready for dinner with a sweet friend, even though my floors need to be mopped, I have to go grocery shopping, and tomorrow I work. Through these fifty five years of commitments and tasks, I have learned that they will wait for me, but people, like time, will not.

I would like to glide through the rest of life with no more spankings and no more crying, but then I would have to give up the thrills too. Aliveness encompasses them all, that is a good thing, I like being alive. It means I get more time to stop long enough to extract the treasure of the moment.

There is great value in these double nickels. Much has been invested and the returns are out of this world!

~~*~~

I was given a gift
of uncommon quality
a one-of-a-kind offering
unique to only me

prone to great increase
when invested properly
a gift that keeps on giving
and grows in rarity

I dare not neglect
to appreciate the worth
of this valuable treasure
given me since birth

I must not squander
even a tiny bit
but protect and fully utilize
all of it

as my privileged obligation
'till the day I die
is to wisely use
this precious gift of life

P.J.