A Dress

So nine days before my son’s wedding its official, I am boycotting women’s clothes, in particular, dresses. I have purchased a dress that quite frankly, I don’t want to wear. The fabric is pretty, the style is pretty, with a little nip and a little hemming, on me it will be okay, certainly not wonderful. A mom wants to feel pretty on such an occasion. I will feel self conscious and confined in fabric if I wear that dress, tugging and constantly wondering if anything that should not be showing, is. I have not yet returned it for lack of time and a more suitable alternative. In the end, if it comes down to it I will wear it, tugging and checking its status all evening if I have to. Confirming the abrasive cliche “beauty is pain”.  

I know what I want and I know it exists only in my ideas. I would make it myself if I had the time to do so, but my to-do list is lengthy. I could have made one weeks ago if I had known I would get to this point and still not have met with success. Now time is short.

I don’t understand why it is so difficult. I don’t understand how store after store offers more of the same as the one before it. A handful of designers have obviously decided for the population what the trends will be while the consumer is never even consulted. If they were there would be a far different selection.

I’m tired of clingy jerseys in hideous prints; they are heavy, hot in warm weather and not warm in cold weather. The fabrics I am convinced are made from my recycled plastic milk jugs. All of the polyesters, rayon and spandex are unwearable without a good dousing of stinky Static Guard. Some of those man-made fabrics are so noisy ones clothing announces their arrival into a room just by the crackling and swishing sounds that come with every move. I don’t want clingy or noisy clothes.

I also do not want clothes that are so see through that a second, under layer is necessary just to keep from feeling naked. 

Then there are the dresses with slits up to here and necklines down to there, strapless, spaghetti strapped, gaudy ruching, ruffles and tiers, that make a girl look like she’s wearing a Halloween costume. I said no clingy fabrics that show every lump and bump but neither do I want to be wrapped in wads, clumps and layers of fabric to cocoon me either!

I googled dresses with sleeves. Up came a bunch with a tank top style or spaghetti straps, apparently even the very definition of a sleeve is up for debate these days. I want a sleeve because I get cold. Some girls want a sleeve to conceal upper arm wings that they prefer not to bare. Whatever, I want a sleeve. The only time I really want a dress without a sleeve is in the summer when I will be outside for any length of time, otherwise I am in the seventy five degree or cooler air conditioning. That is good for men in suits but not ladies in sleeveless dresses.

 Clearly designers and manufacturers can mass produce dresses without a sleeve more quickly. It is always the construction of the sleeve that requires the most time and effort for me when I am sewing my own clothes. I could always buy a two piece, simple dress with a matching jacket, but why? Why not just give me a dress with sleeves? I could also carry a shawl, but why? Why must I have yet another something in my already full hands or fumble with a shawl that continually slides off my shoulders? Why?

I know exactly what I want. Can't somebody just give me a springy, semi formal, natural fiber, sleeved, comfortably fitted dress that I feel pretty wearing. Why is that too much to ask?

I know in my heart that style and comfort are possible, I resort to making it for myself most of the time. I just wanted a little assistance in light of the busyness of my schedule. 

Since the fashion world has failed me again, I am boycotting it. All in favor say I!

Maybe miraculously my time will increase and I will yet be able to pull off a custom made. And well, even then it’s only half the battle. Don’t even get me started on shoes!