Mark, My August Delight

August is summer's closing bell. The warning indicator that whatever you may have been planning to do before the summer ends needs to get done or the chance will soon be gone. The final offer to feel the year's warmest sun.
It's August's obligation each year to clearly attract attention to the end. Not only the end of a wonderful summer season, but the end of a season in our lives. For me, it represents also a beginning.
I have a tendency to measure the year from August to August in my mind, instead of December's final day and January's first, solely because I looked forward to summer for so many years around a school schedule, first as a student, then as a Mother of students. I have been in school, or scheduling my life around school, for 43 years! It should be no wonder that summer is so beloved.
August 1984 was like none before it, or since. I was pregnant with baby #5. It was a pregnancy that proved to be a few months in my life that would test me in many ways, the most significant of which, was completely out of my control, but only mine, it was never out of God's control!
About 4 months into it I began having a dull backache. I had a routine doctor's appointment already scheduled, and told him about the pain. He explained that it could be pressure from the baby, but even as he was saying the words I was thinking, huh, really, the baby is only the size of a thumb, I've done this a couple times before and never felt anything like this! I went home, but became increasingly uncomfortable. I went again to see him the next day. He said it could be a kidney stone. He tried to be reassuring, using the tip of his ballpoint pen to show me the "average" size of a kidney stone. He said he really didn't want to take x-rays which would be the only way to know for sure, because of the potential risk to my developing baby. He said to drink a lot of water, some cranberry juice would be good, avoid milk, and hopefully if that was the source of my pain it would "pass" on it's own. He told me I could use Tylenol around the clock as needed for discomfort. That second visit was on a Friday.
Pain has a tendency to increase at night and on the weekend, and increase it did! A couple of my kids got sick with the flu which exacerbated the situation in every way one might imagine! I was on a heating pad or in a hot tub of water continuously, I could do little if anything about my sick children. I was trying to be brave, to work through the pain, knowing if I went to the doctor again he would have no choice but to order the x-rays. I was hoping to avoid that. Monday morning normal office hours could not have come around more excruciatingly slowly, I knew I had to go but I didn't know how I'd get there. I had sick kids, a mountain of flu ruined bed sheets, no clean dishes, and had consumed an entire bottle of 50 Tylenol in just 4 days in an effort to ease my pain. Birthing babies was preferable to what I had been experiencing!
My friend came over to check on me that morning after her repeated attempts all weekend to reach me by phone had failed, she was worried. I thank God every time I think of her, for the treasure of her friendship!
When she walked into my house she was in shock, I could see it all over her face. The shades were still down so the house was dark, it was smelly from the pile of icky sheets, and the kitchen was a disaster! She said why didn't you call me?! I couldn't, I really just couldn't! Given the circumstances the whole thing was a bit of a blur.
She immediately took control, got me to the doctor, who ordered the x-rays, which revealed a stone the size of a dime in my left ureter. Apparently the pregnancy caused it to move, completely blocking the function of that kidney, thus the ridiculous pain! I was admitted to the hospital, assigned an urologist, and fitted with a custom catheter 14 inches long, with the hope it would be long enough to allow the baby to get as big as he would without the need to repeat the procedure. It was designed with a loop on each end to keep one end in my kidney, and the other in my bladder, allowing function of these body parts for the duration of the pregnancy. This was inserted externally through the urethra without meds, again for the sake of the baby, using only a topical application of something that acted similarly to Novocain. My ObGynie held my hand and talked with me as the urologist positioned the catheter. I gained a great new respect for him that day, he was no longer just my doctor, he was a caring, concerned, compassionate individual that had with that one gesture earned my complete trust and confidence. It was of tremendous benefit and comfort for me to have him there! By the end of the procedure I had been fitted with an all internal catheter that would allow the kidney to properly drain until 6 weeks after the birth of my baby when I would have surgery to remove the stone.
When I returned home, all of my laundry and dishes were clean, my house was no longer stinky, there was soothing light filtering through the curtains, and food was prepared, My friend had valued me by caring for me when I so needed to be cared for, and by loving my children in their Mother's absence. I could never say too much what a treasure she is to me, even with 1500 miles and 25 years between us, and that time in our lives!
I became a project for my doctors, I was a unique "2 fer" patient. I would be on a urine purifying med for the rest of my pregnancy, and I would need to drink water, lots of water to prevent infection or rejection of the foreign object in my body, and to keep that narrow catheter from becoming clogged, lest the entire process need to be done all over again. My team of ObGynie's kept a close eye on things, assuring me that my baby was developing on track in spite of the trauma to his "incubator". I was warned that an early delivery was probable, maybe too early for baby to thrive and survive.
I prayed.
They could save babies born at 5 months gestation, Lord, just let me get to 5 months. That came, and passed, and I said Lord, 6 months is ever so much better, let me get to 6 months. That came, and passed, and I said wow, Lord, 7 months and my baby would have a fighting chance, let me get to 7 months! At that time a new set of x-rays were ordered to make sure the catheter was in place and serving as intended. The technician presented me with a copy of that most unique x-ray, my very first picture of baby # 5. Next to my hip bones and rib bones are the tiny ribs, spine, legs, arms, and skull of that little guy, all right where they belong! And the stone and catheter clearly where they were when they were last seen. 7 months came, and passed, and so did 8 months, and I was feeling confident that I would have a healthy baby! As the due date came, it too passed! 2 weeks past my due date, and 3 days of mild labor that would not progress, I was finally medically induced into labor! The little guy had just hunkered down in there waiting for the "storm" to pass, and got himself so comfortable he forgot he was supposed to move out!
At last, there he was, a wrinkled, plump 8lb. 12oz. my biggest baby perfect in every way in spite of the rough ride beautiful son. The doctor said, "well, you've got a basketball team", his creative alternative to it's a boy! I'm glad I was part of the generation of mom's who still had the element of surprise in pregnancy, it added to the thrill of the "birthday". My sweet friend was there, she witnessed the miracle, and welcomed with me this tiny new person.
There are a few moments in life that are magic, the embodiment of everything sublime, blissful, the gift of a higher realm. That was one of those moments. I knew this child was meant. Meant to be my son, and I his Mother. Meant to take me to a life lived with a deeper appreciation for it. Meant to add value to our family in ways that show us we would not be as good together if he were not a part of us. Meant to bring joy, not just at that moment, but so many future moments that I had yet to even ponder. Meant to be a constant reminder to all who know him that kindness and thoughtfulness are real attainable human attributes, that are meant to be acted upon, not just fleeting ideas that sound good.
He has a reputation that precedes him now. His whole life he has given 100% of himself. As a child, he wore the soles of his shoes out in less than 2 months of hard little boy play! As an athlete, outperforming everyone average. As an employee, the dream of his employers. As an employer, always aware of good effort and quick to reward it. To all the people in his life, and the projects he undertakes, he gives that same 100%. He is committed and loyal, wishing to better the lives of those he loves, even more than his own.
August 24th 1984 he was given to me, to take to my home, to join with the other members of our family, for all the rest of our lives. That was a remarkable August day, the beginning of something new and beautiful, a day that forever changed my future, and the future of our family.
That was 26 years ago. Every day for 26 years I have said "thank you Lord, for this son, for how he came into the world, for who you created him to be, for putting him in my home, and in my family".
"Thank you Lord".
P.J.