He Grew

So much has been happening in the life of our family this summer that I have hardly had time to put 2 thoughts together, let alone write them down! Lots of good things, thankfully!
I had a lot of ideas, intending to blog when I "landed" back home from a vacation with my parents and brother. We saw so many inspirational sights, lots of great old architecture, rolling farms, visits with family. Our first destination was Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, a huge, even mammoth, state park. We stayed right there on property surrounded by a forest filled with critters and trails inviting us into their "secret" green world.
That day while I was immersed in the scenery and greenery, my youngest son, #6, turned from 22 just 1 day earlier, to 23! Just like that, a whole year of his life, our life as a family with him, was history, done, gone, over.
I thought about the day he was born. He was a morning baby, though he kept me up all night knowing the time was near for him to make an appearance. I washed up all of the family's laundry, didn't want to come home from the hospital with my newborn and tired self, to an impossibly overwhelming pile of laundry, which even as I write this seems like an oxymoron, just 1 day's worth of laundry for 5 boys and their parents was overwhelming! Nevertheless, I made the effort to be as organized as possible for my return home with the new little brother. He was the first one I'd had an ultrasound with during pregnancy, so I knew he was a "brother". There was excitement in the air that morning as we began it in the usual way, Dad went to work, kids went to school, however that proved rather quickly to have been the wrong decision! Dad came home, we went to the store to get bread for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the brothers to have for lunch, brought them home from school so the older could tend the younger, got the neighbors to keep an eye out on them, and left for the hospital. 30 minutes later, at 10:34 a.m. there he was. Out of my tummy and into my arms, though in my heart from the first realization he'd be joining our family. He was a keeper!
It's funny how I always thought newborns were soooo, not pretty, mis-shapen, splotchy skinned, but mine, well mine were perfect! Mine had nice round little heads, fair smooth skin, and were instantly marvelous to behold! When I look back at their first pictures, the ones that the less than professional photographers take hours after birth in the hospital, I think wow, that is just not the pretty, perfect little thing I remember, and am forced to admit even MY babies debuted a bit on the side of visually imperfect, but in only a few days they would take on the less traumatized appearance of "birth" day, becoming positively angelic!
Oh how I loved those days with my beautiful new babies. All the world was a better place, everyone has a soft spot in their hearts for babies and new moms, and older siblings even get extra attention as the "big" brother's, or sister's.
There was no shortage in our house of arms to hold #6, still Mommy was really the only one who could make him happy and calm. He was the only one of my babies that did not like the swing, did not like the bouncy chair, did not want to be on a play mat with attractive objects overhead to reach for, no, he just wanted Mommy. So with him I attempted the snuggle thingy that held baby close to mommy while she could go about business hands free. Dinner preparation was when it got the most use even though it was a less than wonderful contraption, it somehow helped me manage to keep us all from starving.
He grew.
He was a serious little guy, often seen with a furrowed brow, his bewildered eyes begging for assistance. Pictures of him as a toddler, and pre-schooler prove that I was a tough mom, I mean what kind of mother dresses her kids in overalls? Is potty training not difficult enough that we should throw in the mastery of strap buckles and hooks too?! I just loved my little guys in overalls! We had them in every size, denim, conductor stripes, and I even sewed a few myself for the smallest family members. I made it up to them all though, with velcro shoes!
He grew.
He was very inquisitive, needing answers to questions that I thought pointed to his genius! What was the thing in his chest "going up and down"? How did the steering wheel make the car turn? He cared for the kittens born in our back yard, he fed the ducks. He conversed with the birds as he made his peanut butter and jelly sandwich (still a mealtime staple) at the kitchen table on cool breezy days when the sliding door was open. He really did, he truly communed with nature! He was mesmerized, and a little afraid, of the red tail hawk that landed on the stop sign out at the corner in front of our house, he came running in the door to tell me "the big guy" was out there!
He grew.
His determination brought him into successes while still showing him there would be failures along the way too, like starting a fire at 4 along with his best friend in their closet after getting a hold of a lighter, and years later when I ended that friendship because it just never got better than it was at 4. That was hard, for him, more for me, but it was the right thing to do.
He grew.
I was surprised to see him take the pitchers mound for the first time. He may have been surprised too, the coach just put him in one day. He was great! It was as if this secret skill had just been waiting to be recognized. He was patient, didn't feel the need to toot his own horn, just content to know he possessed the skills and know how, and would use them when the time came.
He grew.
It wasn't long before he connected with his new best friend. Together they discovered the new world of motors. Before you know it #6 was THE go to guy for all the local go-ped needs. He had earned a reputation for designer go-peds with performance engines that were the fastest. People in the 14 something age group from all around heard about and depended on his expertise. He was tall for his age which gave him a sense of invincibility, but also a heart of compassion for those less able to fend off aggressors. He rode his fellow go-ped buddy home so the buddy wouldn't be alone, which meant HE was alone on his return trip. He was jumpd by 2 older boys that stole his prized go-ped. A passing firefighter witnessed the incident stopped to help, called the police, which involved squad cars, police dogs, even a helicopter in search of the perpetrators. I was called (out of my bath, dripping to the phone!) by that firefighter, who reassured me that my son was OK, upset, but not harmed physically. The thugs were not caught, the go-ped not found.
He grew.
16 meant driving of course. He bought his first car from his brother, quickly transforming it into a "race car". He always had a need for speed. He took auto body classes in high school, and was exposed to the mechanics shop, combined with his early motor building experiences he figured out whatever he wanted to know about engines. His first full time job was as a mechanic at a dealership, fresh out of high school, recommended by his teacher. He had a goal of timing at the track in the 13's for the quarter mile, he reached that goal. Smiles were abundant, and large!
He grew.
At the wedding of a friend, my boys met a family of girls. One of those boys, #6, took a fancy to one of those girls. She did not readily return the fancy, but he insisted she would give in and date him one day. She did. 4 years later, just less than a month after he turned 23, he "popped the question" on hole 5 at the peewee golf course, (5 is her favorite number). He got a hole in one and she got 3 in that game!
He has grown.
From my perfect newborn baby boy, who only had eyes for Mommy, to a handsome, strong, intelligent young man capable of setting his sights on his new best girl, and the life they envision for their future together.
He has grown.
Not without adversity for sure, but it has all worked together for good.
He has grown, and will continue to grow, into a husband, a Daddy, a firefighter, who knows where this path will take him for sure. There is so little that can be considered sure. While where the path leads is uncertain, there is one certain thing, one sure thing,
#6, you don't go it alone.
When the straps and buckles of life bewilder, someone will know how it works and help when you need it. Questions are meant to be asked, logical conclusions can be found. Friends come and go, family is forever, you are deeply loved, and that will never change, never ever. When you're in the game, on the mound, the ball in your control, ready to throw a fast pitch, there we'll be in the stands cheering you on. Your patience and compassion will open doors for you and your family that lead you to places you always hoped to go. And when your need for speed must be satisfied in order to make your smiles large and plentiful, step back, take a deep breath, look at all you have, all you are, where you've come from, where you've been and where you're headed, and choose to take it slow instead, so you don't miss a thing. It all changes so quickly anyway. Take your time, savor the moments, don't rush, there are smiles aplenty all along the way!
P.J.